Forever Yours Read online

  “That’s…nice.” He examined the house through the windshield. It certainly looked better in the photos than it did as they sat in the driveway. “Quaint.”

  She chuckled. “Right.”

  They climbed out of the Jeep and rushed to the door. Meg pressed a code into the key holder and pulled the key out.

  John moaned quietly once they were inside. “Wow.”

  “Okay, let’s look beyond the décor.”

  He ran a hand over the wallpaper.

  “You can change anything you don’t like. Look at the layout and the structure.”

  “This kind of structure?” He grabbed one of the wooden poles that lined an arched window. The window allowed viewing of the living room from the small entryway, which was the starting point of dark green shag carpet that appeared to flow throughout.

  “It’s a bit of a fixer upper but it was at the bottom of your budget. You liked the kitchen when we looked at pictures last night, remember? Let’s go check out the kitchen.”

  They walked through the dining room to the kitchen—the only room that appeared to have been updated. This would be the reason most of the pictures on the realtor’s site had been of the new tile and appliances. He should have known the rest would be a disaster.

  “Let’s check out the basement.” She opened one door, found the pantry, and then opened another that hid a set of stairs.

  John followed her down and opted not to mention the musty smell. She must have smelled it too. At the bottom of some rather rickety old stairs, they stood on the cement flooring. It was dark. It was dingy. It was borderline frightening. The half-finished part of the basement had linoleum, a sofa, and haphazardly nailed up green board in one corner of the room.

  “Okay.” She was obviously not impressed. “Let’s look at house number two.”

  “You don’t want to show me the yard? The bedrooms?”

  “Honestly, I’m scared to see them so let’s just go. This house is not for you.”

  “Agreed.” He followed her upstairs, looking at his feet so he didn’t look at something he shouldn’t as she walked in front of him.

  Back in the Jeep, she marked a huge X through the listing they’d just viewed and scribbled some notes on it. “I don’t think I’ll show that to anyone else. Ever.”

  He laughed as she gave him the address for the next place. “When did you become a realtor?”

  “Hmm, about three years ago.”

  “Why real estate? I thought you liked accounting.”

  “I was just ready for a change.”

  Her aloof answer let him know she didn’t really want to talk about it. He suspected she went through a lot of changes after he ended their relationship. He hadn’t asked about her, and Steven hadn’t offered. He had imagined that she’d picked up and kept going without giving him a second thought. Somehow, he thought she’d be married with kids and an overly attentive husband and the prefect house, living the life that he’d wanted but hadn’t been able to give her.

  He had always assumed she went on as though he had never happened, though he could see now that hadn’t been the case. Hurt remained in her eyes when she looked at him. It was hidden far behind the anger and mistrust, but it was there.

  He glanced over at her when she rambled off information about the next house. Four bedrooms, two and a half baths, fenced yard, and, oooh, a hot tub.

  “Why, uh, why three bedrooms?” she asked.

  John tried to read her face. Was she fishing for information on his relationship status? If she was, was it mere curiosity or was she hoping, like he had where she was concerned when he’d decided to return to town, that he was single?

  “At some point, I hope to have a family. Not anytime soon, since I’m not even dating.” He threw the last bit in for good measure. “But when I do, three bedrooms should get us by for a while.”

  She smiled, but it wasn’t sincere. “Oh.”

  It took a second to understand why she wasn’t as impressed by his answer as he has been when he’d realized he should buy a bigger house. He’d been adamant during their relationship that he didn’t want children. He’d figured if ever there was someone unqualified to be a good parent, it was him. That was another thing that had changed while in New York. He’d seen bad parenting, way worse than what he’d survived, and it ignited a need in him to provide a secure and loving home for his children. Children he couldn’t imagine having with anyone other than Meg.

  “I needed time,” he blurted out.

  “What?”

  “Being in New York, seeing the things I saw at the hospital there—it was what I needed to understand that I wasn’t the only person in the world who ever got a raw deal. A lot of people have had lives worse than I ever did, and they kept going. They kept trying and all I did was run away.”

  She looked out the window at the passing houses. “You don’t owe me an explanation.”

  “Actually, I do. That’s the least I owe you.”

  “Well, I don’t want to hear it.”

  “Meg—”

  “You should probably just work on the dog thing first. That’s a pretty big commitment in and of itself. Maybe if you can handle that, having a relationship with another human being won’t seem so daunting.” She clenched teeth. “Goddamn it.”

  John swallowed and exhaled slowly. “One step forward, five steps back, huh?”

  She closed her eyes and shook her head. “I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t. Don’t apologize. I deserved that.”

  “I don’t want to be so bitter. It just sneaks up on me sometimes.”

  He grinned slightly. “You always had a quick wit. That’s one of the things I loved about you.”

  “Turn right at the next block.”

  He followed her instructions and pulled into the driveway. The two-story house looked like a photo out of a home improvement magazine. Though the landscaping was covered in snow, there were multiple bushes, and John imagined they were complimented by flowers and plants of varying colors and sizes to present the perfect home. The porch was decorated for the holiday with snowmen carved out of wood and strings of lights waiting to be plugged in, which added to the welcoming feel of the home.

  “I like this already,” he said, as Meg worked on releasing the key from the holder. “It’s very homey.”

  She didn’t respond. She simply unlocked the door and pushed it open for him to step inside. They slid their boots off and she guided him through the house. He tried to ignore the lack of enthusiasm she had, but it stung him every time she barely smiled at one of his jokes and lamely gestured into a room.

  He was standing in the living room, looking at the stone fireplace, when his gaze fell on a photo of the family who lived there. A man and his wife sat with their two children. Even though the photo was posed, their happiness was evident in their smiles.

  Reality hit him then. He finally understood the depth of his mistake—what he had really walked away from. He had known all along, in his arm’s length way, that he’d lost the woman he loved and the future he had wanted with her. But standing here, in this house, looking at a photo that should have been them…reality really hit him. Like a kung-fu powered kick to the gut.

  His air whooshed out of him and he had to put his hand on the mantle to steady himself. He had returned to town with one mission in mind—to earn Meg’s forgiveness so he could forgive himself, but in that moment in front of the fireplace everything changed.

  It wasn’t just forgiveness he needed. It was her. Their future. Their family. Their Sunday mornings reading the paper in bed, making love in the afternoon, ignoring the rest of the world until they absolutely couldn’t anymore. Her laugher. He hadn’t heard her laugh in years. He missed the musical sound that filtered in and warmed his heart.

  He wanted her back. He wanted their life back. A life he didn’t deserve, but suddenly understood that he couldn’t continue being without.

  He turned his head when he heard her call out to him. The l
ook on her face and the tone of her voice let him know it wasn’t the first time she’d said his name. Looking at her now, he swallowed hard to resist the urge to pull her to him and hold her as he begged for another chance, begged her to believe in him again, and promised—swore—that he’d never hurt her like he had before.

  “Are you okay?” She started to reach out to him but stopped. “Do you need some water?”

  “Uh, no. No. I’m fine.”

  “You look like you could be sick.”

  He smiled slightly. “No. I’m good. I, uh, I didn’t have breakfast.”

  “Oh. Well, let’s get out of here and grab something to eat.”

  “Yeah, that sounds good. That sounds great actually.”

  He looked at the photo one more time. The happy family reached him on a level he hadn’t known existed. It was like a sign from the universe that this was the house he needed to buy. This was his new home. The place where he would have the life he wanted.

  This was the place where he would win Meg back.

  Chapter Five

  “Feeling better?” Meg asked.

  John finished off his hamburger and brushed his hands together. “Much.”

  “Good. So what did you think about the last place? You didn’t say much.”

  “I liked it.”

  She smiled. “Great. Do you want to make an offer?”

  He did. He really did. But that would put an end to this time with her and he wasn’t ready for that just yet. “It’s only the second place I’ve looked at. Let’s check out the other place we picked out yesterday. It had a lot of potential.”

  She looked out the window. “The snow is still coming down. If we are going to head out there, we should get going.”

  John took a few of her fries and stuffed them in his mouth, and then wiped his hands. He slid out of the booth and carried their tray to the trashcan.

  Though Meg still seemed tense, she had relaxed considerably. John was hoping they could have a conversation about anything other than buying a house, his past, and breaking her heart.

  “So,” he said after they climbed into the Jeep, “I haven’t bought Steve and Suz anything for the baby yet, but I want to do something big.”

  She glanced at him. “The baby’s too little for beer and a foosball table, if that’s what you’re thinking.”

  John laughed. “I’ve kind of outgrown that.”

  “I hope so.”

  “I was going to get a gift certificate to some fancy hotel with a restaurant so they can have a night off while I keep the baby.” He glanced at Meg and saw her staring at him with a furrowed brow. “Is that a terrible idea? I mean, I know they’re not going to want to leave her right way, but a gift certificate can be used anytime.”

  “Actually, that’s a really great idea. Kind of blows my portable crib full of diapers out of the water.”

  He grinned. “Well, I bring it up because…you know…I don’t think that I should keep a baby all night by myself. Yeah, I’m a doctor, but I’ve never been a babysitter. So I was thinking maybe you could help me out with that?”

  Meg scoffed. “Oh. But you get all the credit, I suppose.”

  “Well, it was my idea.”

  “Mmm-hmm. Whose idea was it really?”

  “What? Like I can’t be creative?” He laughed when she lifted a brow at him. “Okay, I looked up baby shower ideas. I liked that one.”

  “Okay. You ante up half the money and half the babysitting. I’ll do my half and it’s from both of us.”

  “I can deal with that.”

  Their drive filled with debate about hotels and restaurants and, much to John’s relief, seemed to be as far away from reminding Meg of how badly he had hurt her as they could get. He listened while she rambled on about how excited she was. She practically squealed at the thought of holding her niece and confessed her plans to spoil the little girl rotten.

  “I can’t wait,” she said.

  And then he heard it—the beautiful sound that had eluded him since his return. She laughed. A real laugh, not a half-laugh, not a just-to-be-polite laugh. A laugh that made her eyes sparkle and his heart lift with the sound.

  She glanced at him and her smile fell. “What?”

  “What?”

  “I don’t know. You were just looking at me funny.”

  “I’ve missed your laugh,” he said without thinking.

  She lifted her brows and looked away.

  John exhaled slowly. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”

  “You didn’t.” Silence surrounded them and then she said, “John, I’d really like it if we can be on an even keel. Suzanna was right when she said we have to put our past behind us so we can be a family for the baby. I don’t know what that means for us. I don’t know if I want to be friends, or acquaintances, or…just two people who are nice to each other when we have to be. But I do know that I don’t want to keep hanging on to this anger. And I also know that I’ll never be more than a friend. That’s not going to happen, so if anywhere in your mind you are thinking we’re going to get back together, forget it, okay?”

  He looked at her and was certain his disappointment was on his face, but he brushed it aside and made a face at her to ease the tension. “All I said was I missed your laugh. Geez.”

  John could deny it all he wanted, but Meg had seen through his façade. He’d been upset when she said she had no intentions of getting back together with him. God. What did he think? He’d just strut back into town and she’d forget that he was a complete jerk? That he should have stayed a loner? That he didn’t want or need her?

  “Damn it,” she said under her breath as she looked at him across the living room of the empty house she was showing him. For a while she had forgotten. She wanted things to be back to the way they were. She wanted him to want her back. She wanted to live in that house with him. With their children. She wanted the life that he had promised her so long ago.

  But the past was right there, reminding her that it was a bad idea to let him in. No, scratch that. It was a terrible, horrible, no good idea, and she needed to forget it right now. Reminding him, and herself, that she wasn’t going back down that road was her only defense, and she had jumped at it.

  He’d quieted down after her declaration. They drove the rest of the way to the next house on their list in silence, with her giving directions as needed.

  This house, secluded and out of the way, was larger than the first two. It was also the oldest of them all. An old farmhouse to be exact. A bit rundown and some of the rooms were small, but the last owners had done a great remodel. They had moved to California, leaving the house empty and ready to sell. The close would be fast, simple, and she was confident the owners would negotiate a much better price.

  Even so, she could tell as soon as they pulled up, he wasn’t interested. She didn’t understand why he wouldn’t just admit that he wanted the last house. It was the perfect fit for him. His connection to the house had been written all over his face. Hell, she’d felt it too. That house was home.

  He should just make an offer and be done with it. He hadn’t had a bad thing to say about it. He liked the colors, the kitchen, the finished basement, the fenced in yard…everything. Even so, they did the obligatory walk through in the empty farmhouse and left within a few minutes.

  “Well?” She secured her seatbelt.

  He started the engine and looked up one more time. “I don’t think so.”

  “Would you like to go back to the office and look at a few more listings?”

  “Yeah, let’s do that.”

  “Okay.” She sighed.

  As he started down the poorly paved road, he turned on the wipers, swiping away the huge snowflakes that just kept coming. “You don’t want to?”

  “You liked the last house. You’re going to buy the last house. You know and I know it, so let’s make an offer on it.”

  “I want to make sure it’s the right one.”

  “It’s
in the perfect location. The price is well within your budget. It had all the things on your list of wants. And I saw on your face that you wanted it. Stop being so wishy-washy and go for it.”

  John cocked a brow and glanced at her. She was expecting a smart comeback when the Jeep hit a patch of ice. He managed to keep his cool as he lost control, and didn’t slam on the brake or jerk the wheel. Meg still braced herself as the vehicle slid toward the edge of the road. There were no guardrails between the road and the ditch—just a steep snow covered drop off that looked increasingly dangerous as they approached it. She was thrown forward and then to the right. She cried out when the side of her head cracked against the window.

  It happened so quickly. Within a few seconds the car slammed to a stop, nose first in the ditch, and John’s hand was on her arm. “Are you okay?”

  She winced as she put her fingers to her forehead. The throbbing in her head was sharp and intense, so much so that it took a moment for her to register the cut on the bone just above her eyebrow. “I think I’m bleeding.”

  “Look at me.” He unhooked his seatbelt and pushed her hand away. His panicked eyes skimmed over her brow. “You’re going to need a stitch or two in that.”

  “Great.”

  He jerked his scarf from around his neck and handed it to her. “Put some pressure on it.”

  “With your scarf?”

  “Do you have something better?”

  She put the material to her head and winced as she pressed against her wound.

  “I’ve got a first aid kit in the back.”

  Meg’s eyes widened and her mouth fell open. “You’re going to give me stitches now?” she practically screamed.

  “No. But trust me, you’re going to want an aspirin. Is it just your head? Is anything else hurt?”

  “No, I’m good. You?” She hadn’t even considered if he’d been hurt. “Are you okay?”

  “Yeah. Sit tight.”

  He pushed the door opened and climbed out into the cold. While he walked around the back and released the hatch, she flipped the visor down and looked at the wound.