Forever Yours Page 5

  He laughed as he picked up the keys while she gathered the papers. “Shall we?”

  Meg froze as she lifted her gaze to his. “What?”

  “Go check it out.”

  “Uh, this is usually the end of the line for the realtor. You’re on your own now, Doctor.”

  “Come on.” He stood. “You know you want to come over.”

  “No.” She chuckled. “I don’t.”

  He looked down at her and she rolled her eyes as she felt herself cave.

  “Fine.” She busied herself with stuffing the papers in an envelope to be dealt with later and grabbed her purse from her desk. She turned to leave with him then stopped at the sight of him holding a key out to her. “Wh-What’s that for?”

  “For the front door.”

  “I know that, but why do I need a key to your house?”

  He shrugged. “Somebody has to feed the dog I haven’t yet bought when I go on a vacation I haven’t yet scheduled.”

  She moved around him. “That’s why you have Steven.”

  “I’ll get him one too, but this one is for you.”

  Meg didn’t take the key, but it clinked as he set it on her desk. Her heart did a strange kind of flutter. The last time he’d given her a key to his place it was like signing a death warrant on their relationship. They didn’t even have a relationship now, but she still felt the same sense of doom wash over her as she had felt four years ago.

  She sat quietly as he drove and rambled about all the big plans he had for the place. Once they arrived, Meg looked up at the house and her heart grew inexplicably heavy. She followed him in and gave him a weak smile when he held the door open so she could walk in. All the furnishings and photos had been removed, but it still felt like she belonged here as she looked around the living room.

  “So what do you think?”

  She turned to him. “What?”

  He grinned. “I knew you weren’t listening. Did you hear anything I said on the way over here?”

  “Sorry.” She dismissed her overwhelming emotions with a laugh. “I have a million things on my mind.”

  John’s teasing smile fell. “Something wrong?”

  “No. No. I just…” She looked away from him. “What were you saying?”

  “I need someone to help me decorate, and I think that person should be you. You know me better than anyone.”

  “Uh, I don’t think that’s a good idea. This is your home and—”

  “And I have terrible taste. I don’t want my first real home to look like a frat house.”

  Meg pulled her bottom lip between her teeth for a moment and then shook her head. “Ask Suz. She’s great at this kind of thing.”

  John nodded. “Okay. But when she picks a color you don’t like, I don’t want to hear it.”

  She forced a laugh. “I’ll bite my tongue.”

  “So furniture shopping is out then?” He winked as he teased her.

  “There are bottles in the fridge.” Suzanna looked pitifully at Meg holding Lily.

  “I know.”

  “I’ll keep my cell phone on all evening.”

  “I know.”

  “Call if you need anything. Anything at all.”

  Meg lifted her brows at Steven. “Get her out of here so you guys can enjoy Valentine’s Day. Please.”

  Steven grabbed his wife’s hand and pulled her to his side. “We’ll be back in a few hours. I think Meg and John can handle it.”

  “Have fun,” Meg said as Steven practically dragged Suzanna out the front door.

  Once alone, Meg turned to John and laughed. “I give her an hour. At most.”

  “I give her half that. She’s probably going to order her dinner to go.”

  Meg looked at the bundle in her arms. “Your mommy is crazy, Miss Lily. Yes, she is.”

  John grinned at the sleeping infant. “Well, considering I didn’t expect Suz to leave her until she was at least two years old, I think the fact that she is on the other side of the door is pretty impressive.”

  Walking Lily to the portable crib set up next to the sofa, Meg eased the swaddled baby down and patted her for a moment before sitting on the couch where John had plopped down.

  “So how’s the house coming along?”

  “Good. I’m planning on having a house warming thing soon. Well, Suzanna is planning it.”

  Meg laughed softly. “Yeah, she tried to drag me in on that. I passed.”

  John reached for the pizza that had arrived just minutes before they managed to shoo Steven and Suzanna out of the house. He dropped a slice on a plate and handed it to Meg.

  She had assumed they’d watch a movie with their dinner, but he sat back and started filling her in on the house. He and Steven had spent the weekend painting, which she knew—she’d been home with Suzanna. The furniture was being delivered the following week. She knew that too. She smiled as he told her how excited he was to get completely moved in.

  She couldn’t explain why, but every time she thought of him in that house, she felt a sense of loss tugging at the back of her mind. She had no right to feel that way. She had no desire to feel that way. But the feeling was there.

  She was grateful when the subject changed and he started talking about his work and asking about hers. It was a much more comfortable conversation, and by the time Suzanna and Steven came creeping in the door, just an hour after they’d left, Meg was back to feeling relaxed.

  Suzanna barely acknowledged them before rushing to the crib and scooping up the still sleeping baby.

  “Well,” Meg said to Steven, “looks like all is right in the world now. I’m heading home. If she ever comes up for air, tell her I said goodnight.”

  “Will do. Thanks.”

  “Good night,” John said. He followed Meg to the coat closet by the front door. “It’s early yet. Wanna go grab something to eat?”

  “We just had pizza.”

  “Right. How ’bout a drink?”

  She laughed softly. “Are you avoiding that scene?”

  He looked back to Suzanna cooing over her daughter. “Maybe.” He smiled. “It’s just…”

  “What?”

  He shoved his hands in his pockets. “It’s Valentine’s Day and it’s not even nine o’clock yet.”

  “And your point is?”

  “Just because we’re single doesn’t mean we don’t deserve a night out on Valentine’s Day.”

  “Don’t you have friends to go hang out with?”

  He shrugged. “They’re all on dates.”

  She grinned. “Okay. One drink, but that’s it. Meet you at Sam’s?”

  “Sam’s it is.”

  John was convinced that no one had ever looked better in a pair of faded jeans and a fitted T-shirt than Meg. He’d had a hard time keeping his attention off her body while babysitting, but now it was nearly impossible to not steal glances at her whenever possible. The bar had been one of their favorite places to hit up on Friday nights. Sitting with her now, he couldn’t help but remember how most of those nights ended—with them naked and moving together in a sensual dance that still made his body react when he thought of it.

  “What?” Meg pulled him from his memory.

  “Huh?”

  She grinned slyly, as if she had read his thoughts, and then waved over a waitress.

  He’d been patiently waiting for her to fully forgive him so he could start to show her he had changed. He thought she was getting there, but every now and then he saw the doubt in her eyes and felt her withdraw from him. Her distance wasn’t as prominent now as it had been two months ago, but her hesitation in completely opening up to him was still there.

  He was tempted to ask her to dance when a slow song filled the bar and couples moved together on what little there was of a dance floor. But he refrained. Neutral conversation flowed as they finished their drinks. When her glass was empty, she paid her tab and stood to put on her jacket.

  “Meg,” he said before he had a chance to think about it. S
he stopped reaching for her coat and looked at him. He held out his hand and nodded toward the dance floor. She was going to refuse him. He could see it on her face. “Please?”

  She hesitated, but when an old Lionel Richie song started play, she slid her palm into his. He led her to the crowded dance floor while what used to be their song played. Though she kept as much distance between them as she could to start, by the time the second verse started, her cheek was pressed to his. He felt her breath on his neck and her body hot against his. She still fit perfectly, after all these years. He curled her arm so he could put her palm over his heart, and time seemed to slip away. Her scent, lavender and vanilla, filled him, and his heart beat faster.

  They moved in time to the slow music, clinging to each other, and when the song ended he hesitated to lean back. The need to kiss her was undeniable, and the look in her eyes suggested she was fighting the same temptation. He dared to close the gap, to finally taste her lips again, but before he could make contact, she turned her head and his kiss fell to her hair.

  She didn’t run away, but she did silently pull from his arms. He wanted to reel her back to him, but that would only make her defenses go back into full throttle. Pushing Meg when she wasn’t ready for something was like poking a rattlesnake with a stick. It never ended well.

  So he followed instead, helped her into her coat, and put on his own. Outside, he walked her to her car, feeling like he could suffocate from the tension between them. She pushed the button on her remote to unlock the doors.

  John reached around her to open the driver’s side door, but hesitated. “I’m sorry. That wasn’t my intention. I just wanted to dance.”

  She shook her head and exhaled slowly. “I was there too.”

  He lowered his face. “You feel it too. That undeniable pull between us. It’s still there.”

  Again, she looked like she wanted to give in, but couldn’t quite allow it. “Yeah. It’s still there. But I’m not going to act on it.”

  “I know you’re scared because of how things ended before, but we still belong together, Megan.”

  Her brow furrowed. “What’s to stop you from running away again?”

  “Four years of the hell of living without you. I just need you to think about it, just think about trying.”

  She lowered her face and he thought he was making some headway.

  “I love you,” he said. “That never changed.”

  She lifted her face to him. Tears had dampened her eyes, but she blinked them away. “Well. That wasn’t enough last time, was it?” Reaching for her car door, she brushed his hand off the handle. “Good night, John.”

  He stepped aside and let her climb into her car. “Good night,” he said as she pulled away.

  Meg shouldn’t have danced with John. She shouldn’t have let him hold her in his arms. She shouldn’t have let herself melt into him, surrounded herself with his cologne, or let his warmth seep into her soul.

  Sinking into her sofa, she pulled a blanket around her, but it didn’t come close to the comfort of his embrace. He was right there, waiting for her to accept him, and she wanted that. More than anything, she wanted to go back in time and have what they had lost, but she just couldn’t take the leap. She was standing on the edge, looking down, but the fear of landing flat on her face again was too great.

  Leaning forward, she grabbed her purse and dug out her phone. She typed a text to Suzanna, hoping her sister was still up. She sank back on the sofa as she waited for a response and let thoughts of John fill her mind.

  Her text wasn’t returned until morning. The beep jolted her from her sleep. Her text the night before had said, Are you awake?

  Suzanna’s reply was, John?

  Of course.

  Bring coffee.

  Meg sat at the kitchen table. “Where’s Steven?”

  “With John,” Suzanna said, as if it were the most obvious thing ever.

  “What? Why?”

  “Because he sent a pathetic text too. Do you realize you are acting like teenagers? For God’s sake, can you just move on?”

  “Excuse me?”

  Suzanna sat at the table, took her coffee, and gently pulled the lid off. “I know about last night. About the dance. Very romantic.”

  Meg frowned. “It was.”

  Suzanna sighed as she looked at Meg. “Say it.”

  “What?”

  “That you still love him but you are terrified he’s going to hurt you again.”

  Meg’s lip trembled. “I love him, but he will hurt me again.”

  Suzanna reached out and wiped a tear from Meg’s cheek. “The thing about love is that there are no guarantees. It’s one day at a time and not every day is a good one. Some days it takes everything you have to believe in it. John made a mistake, Meg. He paid for it. He suffered for it as much as you did. He misses you like crazy.”

  “He left me,” she whispered.

  “I know.” Suzanna grabbed a few napkins and thrust them at Meg. “But right now, you are hurting yourself. You’re just sitting in limbo. You aren’t moving forward and you aren’t letting go. You’re stuck in this in-between. You have to do something.”

  “What?”

  “You love him?”

  “Yes.” She dragged a napkin under her nose.

  “You want to be with him?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Megan. Do you want to be with John?”

  She was again bombarded with images of sharing his home with him. “Yes.”

  “So…do it.” Suzanna grasped Meg’s hand. “Listen, sometimes second chances lead to regret, but sometimes second chances are all that you need to find some happiness.”

  Meg sniffed, wiped her face, and sighed. “I don’t know, Suz. I just don’t know.”

  “Well, you have to figure out something, Meg. You can’t keep letting yourself be pulled in all these directions. Either take a deep breath and jump, or move on.”

  “I don’t know what else I can do.” John stabbed at his omelet.

  Steven frowned as he looked across the table. “You need to understand something. You’ve had four years to think about all the things that went wrong and how to fix it. She’s had four years to think about how you walked out with no warning. The same time has gone by, but you’ve been looking at this from two very different angles. I know you don’t want to hear this, but she was devastated when you left. I don’t mean hurt or upset. I mean crushed.”

  “Rub it in, why don’t you?” John mumbled.

  “It took a long time for her to get her head straight. Then you came back, and everything is all mixed up for her again.”

  John dropped his fork and sat back with his coffee. Looking around the small diner, he frowned deeply. “So what do I do?”

  “Just give her some more time. Let her come to you.”

  “And if she doesn’t come to me?”

  Steven shrugged. “Then you have to let her go.”

  John’s stomach turned sour at the thought. He put his cup down, unable to take another drink. “I can’t do that, Steven. I just can’t.”

  Chapter Ten

  This could have been the stupidest thing Meg had ever done. No, it definitely was the stupidest thing she’d ever done. But she couldn’t back out. She’d sent the text and now she was pacing the length of her apartment waiting for John to reply.

  She had just asked John to dinner. Dinner really wasn’t a big deal—just a meal. Even so, her heart was pounding and her palms were sweating. When her phone chimed, she sat heavily on the couch and stared at it for a moment before checking his response.

  “Okay,” she breathed. “Okay. We’re having dinner.”

  Her phone dinged again and her eyes grew wide as she read his message. “Tonight? No. No. Like tomorrow, or the next night. Or next month.”

  He sent another text before she could type her reply. Tonight. I’ll pick you up in an hour. Dress nice.

  “Oh, my God.” She moaned. “What have I done?�
�

  “This is it,” John said under his breath as he walked to Meg’s door. “Last chance. Don’t blow it, dumbass.”

  He took a breath and knocked on her door. When it opened, his breath left him in a rush. She’d never been more beautiful than she was then, standing there in a red dress with her hair swept up. She looked amazing. More than amazing, and John seemed to have lost his ability to speak.

  Meg blushed and lowered her face as she gestured for him to come in. He wordlessly held out a bouquet of white roses, and she smiled as she took them.

  “They’re lovely, thanks.” She looked at him when he didn’t respond and her grin widened. “Why are you so nervous?”

  “Uh…first date jitters, I guess.”

  “First date?” She giggled. “Hardly.” When she turned, her smile faltered.

  He usually brushed things off, but he was staring at her with a vulnerability he rarely let others see. “Do you think we could just start over? I know we can’t ignore the past, but maybe we can spend a little more time focusing on the future.”

  She nodded. “I’d like that.”

  “Good.” He relaxed and managed to smile. “I called in a favor and got us a reservation at the steak house. I hope that’s okay.”

  “It’s perfect.”

  And it was. Meg seemed to put thoughts of their past out of her mind as they ate. She even laughed at his stories, and he was certain her cheeks blushed when he took more than a passing glance at the ample amount of cleavage she had left exposed.

  As he walked her to her door, he debated if she would invite him in—and if she did, if he should decline.

  “Well,” he said as they reached her apartment. “Thanks for going out with me tonight.”

  “Thank you for dinner. It was wonderful.”

  John wanted to kiss her. Hell, he wanted a lot more than that, but he restrained. “Can I call you tomorrow?”

  “Yeah. I’d like that.”

  “Okay.”

  Meg smiled. “Okay. Good night.”

  “Sleep tight, Megan,” he said softly. Despite temptation, he turned and left her.